Happy at Home

Wow! Over a month since last post, pretty pathetic. And the last thing that got me to post was $100. Alas, I have found no more money. Just having thoughts about every day things I'd like to post about and never having the time. Never making the time. It is something you need to commit to, right Roland?

Anyway, little charlotte is doing just great. She is thinking hard about walking. We actually got a short video of her taking I think 15 steps. She hasn't done anything close to that since then. She is up and around all the time. We are weaning and that is a huge emotional thing for me. I didn't realize how hard it would be for me. She hardly seems to notice. We dropped the noon nursing on Monday and then the 4:00 starting Tuesday. I figured I would just see how she took it. It was extra hard since at first she wouldn't take any cows milk to replace it. so I worried that she'd starve. The funny thing is that I'm really not making much milk, so nursing her was causing her to starve more than anything else! She started getting up more than her usual once per night. She was getting up two or three times at night and I'd nurse her because it was just easier than anything else. But I might have done her a disservice. My husband was actually correct that she should be sleeping through the night and that we need to let her "cry it out" a little. Just a little, still go to her and make sure she is okay. It took a couple of days for me to be okay with this. The last two nights we have employed this and it hasn't been too bad. Since I've plyed her with food all day she didn't wake up until 4 or 5 am. Not bad. Before that she woke up as early as 11:30!!

We have lots of good days and some bad ones. Last week for the first time I actually wished I had a job. just to relieve the monotony. We try to go to playgroups and I'm exploring the play areas at the malls. I'm doing alot with Mothers and More. I am now a co-leader. At first it was stressful, but now it isn't too bad. The hard things, as usual, is being tactful with women. My logical side is overdeveloped and sometimes I just don't know how to approach something that might hurt someone else's feelings, especially when I think it shouldn't hurt her feelings.it is good for me.

I'm thinking of a new "project". I'd like to make Charlotte a play kitchen. Originally I wanted to make it for her second Christmas, but I think I just might be able to do it this year! IT costs about $200-$400 for a nice one and I think I could make one just fine. Plus it is fun to have my little projects.

Though it is getting tough to do things. Charlotte naps about 45 minutes a day. Which is really a nice amount of time to check my email, have a snack, relax, get out stuff to get something done (vacuum, dust, paint, etc.) and then she wakes up! That is okay, I love her!

I'm getting myself ready to think about another one. Exciting. So much love in kids, I can't believe it. But it is difficult too. Those tough days, they are really really tough. And what it does to your marraige, makes it stronger in some ways, but so hard to remember to put your partner first. Especially when taking care of that baby who needs you so much. But since I"m just down to nursing her twice a day and going to stop completely soon (sniff!) I can't believe I'll have my body back to just me! I haven't had that since February of 2006. I might need a month or two just to enjoy that before we get serious about trying.

But I'm happy being home and I LOVE being a mom to Charlotte. Her first birthday is next Monday and I'm so excited. i got her a baby doll and I just know she'll love her so much.